One day, a famous man in our community known for his philanthropy chose 20 children from each family in the community to sponsor their education. Fortunately, I was among the chosen few. I jumped at the chance with joy and started high school. At school, I saw girls with nice school bags, shoes, watches, etc. I admired them and wanted to be like them, forgetting that they were children of the elite and so had no reason to lack. I had a male friend who offered me a relationship, he promised to take care of my needs if I accepted his love proposal. I agreed because I wanted what the elite kids at school had. I started dating him as a teenager in high school and it influenced my studies. I ran low in class and I failed at the end of the session.
"Betty, it has come to my knowledge that you're seeing a man. Since you started messing up yourself with him, you no longer attach value to your studies, is it not shameful that of all the children who were chosen for this scholarship, you're the only one who failed and has to repeat the class?" my father scolded me and the worst I hated was from my mother who used to act as if she couldn't talk from her sick bed, but she managed to yell at me, "Betty to say I'm disappointed in you is an understatement, you are a shame. What do you stand to gain by abandoning your education to follow a man at this tender age? Education that came to you on a platter of gold, education that through you the whole family will be liberated, I will be taken to the best hospital for treatment," said my mother as she strained her voice to talk. So all this is for your selfish interest? You want me to go to school to free the family, to come and get you treated in the best hospital, am I the one that brought this misfortune upon you people, am I the one that got you bedridden? I kept talking to myself.
A day later I met my boyfriend and told him how my parents were making plans to stop my relationship with him, I suggested to him how we could elope and he embraced the idea. Within weeks I fled with my boyfriend to a State that we weren't known. He got settled and in 3 years his business was thriving. When I was supposed to enjoy him, he changed so drastically toward me. He started seeing high-class women. The worst was when he started bringing women to the house and having sex under my nose. He beat me and threatened me to leave his house if I dared to ask him about it. He stopped sleeping with me and only raped me at night when no girlfriend was around. I can't count the number of times I got pregnant with him and he made sure I got it terminated in the hospital. "I want to settle down, I'm not getting any younger," he said one day and I beamed with joy as I thought he'd finally changed and decided to marry me. "Yes, that's a good decision. I'm 18 and I remember my mother telling us that she got married at 17," I told him. He stared at me and then shook his head. "At 18 you shouldn't be talking about marriage, I want to settle down with someone more mature and educated," he told me. When I opened my mouth to talk, he snapped back, "Shut up! I don't owe you an explanation about my life," he got up and went to the bedroom. It was like a dream, I tried to wake up to face reality, it was reality itself!
In days to come, he made life so terrible for me that I had no choice but to return to my parents. I shamelessly returned home, cried, and sought forgiveness, behold my mother was no more. I learned I contributed to her death as she cried every day on her sick bed and asked after me. My father and my siblings avoided me, they saw me as the reason behind our mother's death. My shame knew no bounds when I found out that all the kids sponsored in high school were proceeding to college. I was a total outcast because I let down not only my family but the community as well.
2 years later while I was hopelessly sitting at home, a man met my father and sought my hands in marriage. My father who saw me as a thorn in his flesh accepted. I moved in after he gave my father and elders drinks. There were no marital rites performed on my head than the drinks. I stayed with him for 12 years without a child and the Doctors kept telling me that I damaged my uterus during one of my abortions. "It's been 12 years, I don't think we can continue in this marriage. How could you be living such a reckless life of abortion, I've gotten a woman who is pregnant for my baby, and I've made arrangements to bring her in after performing her marital rites," my husband told me. "No you can't tell me that, you can't frustrate my life after 12 years of marriage," I told him. "Am I frustrating your life or are you frustrating my life? I married you for a good 12 years but with nothing to show. What have you contributed to my life since I married you? I feed you and accommodate you, yet not even one child. All you do is sleep, wake up, and eat," my husband of 12 years said to me.
After about two months, my husband who had not fulfilled a prenuptial agreement ritual on my head, went and gathered his people and performed full marriage rituals on his new wife. She moved in, and behold, she was one of the sponsored kids in the community, and now a banker in one of the new-generation banks. I hated myself every day that went by, I cried bitterly when I saw how much I wasted my years, how much I wasted the opportunity given to me in a platter of gold. Here I had no education, no job, no skill, no children, etc. Here I am with a damaged uterus from my reckless lifestyle, here I am with aborted destiny, I used my hand to scatter my glorious future. All of the sponsored children in my community were professionals in one field or another. The presence of my husband and new wife was a bitter reminder of my shattered fate. My husband pampered her, adored her, and treated her like an angel. Why shouldn't he appreciate her? Someone who is highly educated with a good job? To crown it all, my husband started to get a series of contracts with his well-educated wife connection. Out of shame, I went back to my aged father's house.
I've been living in my father's house for more than 15 years now, and I'm almost 50 yet I can't boast of anything. I am the only sibling living with my aged father, all my siblings are married. I currently work from house to house as a cleaner and receive a living allowance. I also depend on the monthly allowance sent by my siblings for the upkeep of my aged father. I cook for him and survive on this money.
You can also read this; https://yvonnedaniels.blogspot.com/2023/01/message-from-prison-my-predicament-for.html?m=1
If I had embraced the opportunity that was given to me at my youthful age, I would have aspired in life like the others. I wish I could turn back the hands of the clock, but it's too late for me. Please if you are reading my story, don't miss any golden opportunity given to you because of the opposite sex, don't abuse it. Every blessed day brings bitterness to me as I know how I helped abort my destiny
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